Week 2: La Virgen

I am of Mexican descent, so naturally La Virgen is and has been important in my family since I can remember. I don't recall at what point I learned about her, but I know I've always understood that she is someone to respect and venerate. While I was never forced to go to church like other people, I still grew up believing of the existence and importance of such deities. For this reason, La Virgen and Jesus became important figures for me since I was a child. Because of this, it was difficult for me to accept that this may in fact be a lie. I was first exposed to this possibility in Alicia Gaspar de Alba's class CCS101 in Spring '14. In all sincerity, my first reaction was something along the lines; "can you believe this shit? How dare she question something that is sacred to me and many others?" And how else would I react if all of a sudden, I hear that what had been so important to me for my whole life is not real. I couldn't accept it... it was difficult. By consequence, I was also disgusted when I saw what Chicana artists had done with the image. I thought it was disrespectful for anyone to mess with an image that means so much to so many people; including myself. However, when I allowed myself to actually take in the information and the arguments presented not only by Gaspar de Alba, but by other intellectuals, I realized that they may be right. It was something hard to accept, and even now, I can't get myself to say that it isn't real. I want to believe, and I want someone to prove that La Virgen is not a lie; that she was real. I have a tattoo of her on my arm because she means that much to me, and while I am beginning to accept the possibility that it may be a made-up story, I will choose to believe because it is what makes me feel good. While there are good arguments that say otherwise, there isn't enough evidence, in my mind, to say that she was made up. There isn't concrete evidence to say either, and in the midst of the uncertainty, I will continue to believe while allowing myself to get educated. I want an answer, and I don't know when or how, but I want to find it. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than uncertainty.