Week 10 Post: Final Reflection

As I think back on the beginning of the quarter, I immediately think about how mentally constrained I was in terms of specific guidelines and how to get the good grade in my classes. The experience of keeping a sketchbook and materials near by and picking up a pencil and drawing at whatever time and pace I like was very new to me. As a busy university student and as an individual who carries many responsibilities on her shoulder, I never have time for self-expression. This state of being constantly busy has lead me to neglect my bodily, mental and physical needs. This sketchbook helped me bring attention to those needs and helped me Brea my mold (which is the title of my Sketchbook). It allowed me to draw differently and look at objects differently. When Professor Lopez would remind us that the drawings of our hands were just that, drawings of hands, not actual hands. This allowed me to accept my drawings as I was drawing working on them and helped calm my perfectionist mentality. While writing down the names of Chicana artists we new during the first day of class, I felt very embarrassed at my inability to name Chicana artist that were not the mainstream Frida Khalo artists. Today, I not only know the names of many more Chicana artists, but I am knowledgeable and identify with many of the themes expressed in their paintings.
One of the many topics that will forever resonate with me when I see her portraits is the significance behind La Virgen de Guadalupe. This class has allowed me to develop a connection with her as a feminine and cultural icon and less as a Catholic icon. The idea that Yolanda Lopez presented regarding viewing our grandmothers and mothers as Virgenes was also a strong message because my mom, and mother figures in my family, have always been my heroines, leaders and idols and now I feel like representing them in this Virgen de Guadalupe light is representative of my love for them. Finally, I decided to post this image presented today by Pola Lopez is representative of my identification as a Chicana feminist. I feel like this painting is so me because the nopales are sprouting out of her and she is using them as a defense mechanism against society and its standards. The use of loteria cards on the body are almost like tattoos, which are highly unacceptable in my family. I identify with this because the cards are like the culture that is forever instilled in my body, mind and blood. I also take much pride in being of Mexican decent and am growing conscious of that part of my identity as well.
I have grown very much within this time frame and hope to continue growing as an individual and expanding my level of cultural consciousness.