I've chosen this image by the artist Geoff McFetridge to have on the cover of my sketchbook for this quarter's sketchbook project. Something that I've shown interest in recently is vulnerability and how women of color, specifically Chicanas, aren't given enough room to express their vulnerabilities and complexities. Oftentimes I feel that the trope of the Strong Chicana is ultimately dehumanizing in the sense that when we experience trauma all anyone wants to focus on is our strength and bravery in handling said trauma. This is relevant to me as of late; my response to my trauma has initiated reactions such as "oh you're so brave, you're so strong"...it sometimes felt as though I was not being given enough room to mourn or be sad about what I experienced. I feel that this image expresses vulnerability in the sense that the figure is clearly somber and the fact that their face is halfway hidden is symbolic of our tendency to hide our emotions because we're encouraged to put on this front of being strong all the time. The fact of the matter is is that as women, we are extremely complex. The reinforced tropes that are pushed upon us relegate our identities to tired stereotypes, and I think it's important to embrace our different emotions and try to dismantle the tropes that people use to define us.
I also want to stress the importance of emotional compatibility in relationships. Recently, I stopped seeing a white heterosexual male because he wasn't able to handle me at my worst. Halfway through the quarter I became depressed and my body was reacting to its effects. He called me paranoid after I told him everything I was thinking and experiencing. In the mean time, the campus climate was hot with the tuition hikes, the injustice in Ferguson, Ayotzinapa and beyond while I was battling with the realization that I was emotionally abused by a past partner. It's upsetting to know a white heterosexual male (talk about privilege) who was unwilling to accept that I have triggers and I am not always going to be a strong person. I felt like he expected me to be an angel. Lesson learned is to always surround one's self with people who validate ALL of your feelings.
ReplyDeleteJanel