Letter to Martha Ramirez, by Pablo Simental

Querida Temachtiani,

I am currently taking a 'Chicana Arts and Artists' class with Profesora Alma Lopez in which we are exploring themes, content, aesthetics, and narratives of Chicana arts and artists. We had to create a presentation on a Chicana artist of our choosing, one in which I chose you as my artist present on. I found a profound infatuation with your work from the moment at I met you at SPARC my Sophomore year in a class with Profesora Judy Baca. It comes from a warm spirit I find in you, which makes me feel connected to your works as a longing to return back to the motherland.

When I first had the pleasure of meeting you and listening to you speak about your works I knew that your connection to Mexico was one which paralleled to mine. I listened to you speak about your work with muralismo, with indigenous culture, and theatre-- which struck me as really similar to the future careers and involvements I want to dive in within the visual and performing arts. I thought it was interesting that your practice and mastering of these various forms of art overlapped somehow-- I mean, obviously they are all part of the arts but that you found unity within the themes of indigeneity in all three of them. This brings me to the topic of you experiencing both Mexican identity and Chicana identity, and to further that I would love to hear what you identity as? You see, for someone like me who came to the USA as a Mexican raised, American born immigrant when I was 8 years old, I don't think Chicano fits me well. Not that Mexican does either, but it definitely fits me better in terms of how I see myself. Thus, when I heard you speak on your experience living and working in Mexico, I connected it  to my own experience.

For a while now I've been coming into terms with what my role as Mexican raised, American born immigrant is here in the USA. Is it to pursue the "American Dream", to pursue the "Chican@ Dream", because at the end of the day they all do fall within my experiences in terms of identity, gender, sexuality, and social class. Yet, I find myself longing for a motherland that I know I won't be able to find, because the motherland I left was one which I left when I was 8, and has changed a lot! And here in the USA, I don't feel full of life, and that's something that I've accepted. So Temachtiani, what do you think I should do? How should I go about this?
I don't think or expect myself to come to an answer soon, but I do know that I must use the arts in the same way that you did to find my answer, because maybe I won't be able to fit in this reality but in another alternate space that I can only find within my art.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, I appreciate you and how much you've inspired my holistic approach to my identity and my art.

With amor and solidarity,
Pablo Fernando Simental