Resendiz, Johana (Week 3)

 

Although the Chicanx and Catholic community praise La Virgen de Guadalupe, I do not love her. I feel uncomfortable when thinking of her because of my Christan background. When I was younger and living with my aunt, she raised me Christian under the ten commandments. But when I visited my parents, who were not religious, I would watch La Rosa de Guadalupe on t.v. for entertainment. I enjoyed the show, yet I was always anxiously awaiting the day my aunt would find out. She would scold me for exploring the concept of praising other saints, so this left me questioning my identities. 

Most of the Chicanx classes I have taken delve into the relationship Chicanx has with La Virgen and how she has strong roots in Mechica beliefs and culture. When I see La Virgen illustrated on the bodies of Chicanx, I understand the sacrifice and pain they endure for their mother, yet I can not feel that same love for anyone else. It makes me challenge my Chicanx identity and feel like an outsider. I wish I had a connection with her, especially because she could connect me to my indigenous identity. Yet, I can not help but reflect on the misogynistic story she holds. 

Idealizing a pure virgin is not ethical or empowering for young women. It makes me feel guilty for having natural desires and curiosity for sex, when in fact, men are praised for having those same desires. This concept leads to machismo and abusive husbands, which is why I associate her with strong men who feel the need to show strength through La Virgen tattoos. And sure, maybe there is more symbolism behind the pure rose La Virgen carries, but that does not take away the strict expectations on women because of her. Yes, my experience with La Virgen is limited, but her impact on me is still negative. I can never feel complete when looking at her purity.