La Virgen de Guadalupe has been a dominant religious figure in my life, which I once looked to for hope, independence and protection from any and all evils. My religious experience was never a good one. I always felt trapped and forced to believe something I could never completely wrap my head around. However, la Virgen was the only figure that I genuinely felt connected to. Her story originates from the idea of a pure woman, who becomes impregnated by the rule of God, and carries the savior of sinners. Although this is what women have been compared to, in order to be a “pure” woman, I have looked at her as a figure for empowerment, regardless of the mainstream ideology.
The image I constantly recognized of hers was the sculpted piece, with an oval-like shape, standing, looking down, with her hands in a prayer position. With every figure of hers, this is her precise stance, which can be associated with a position of vulnerability.
As I grew older, and faded from believing, a new, cartoon-like image began to circulate in the mainstream media of this precious figure. This version of the image felt wrong, at first, almost defiant. In any way, this figure was the beginning of my shift in ideology of her.
She was watching over me, and that connection persisted, but my association with Catholicism did not. Maturing into middle and high school, I became very lonely, more independent, and self sufficient. While my family could help when they could, my watchers and protectors were my great grandmothers, and possibly La Virgen. Being alone consisted of late night walks and commuting by myself, hardly being able to rely on anyone. Considering all this time, I would have expected at least one or two horrifying experiences to shift my path, and be more reliant on others, but it wasn’t so. I believe that she allowed my path to be set that way, to grow and evolve my persona, to be who I am today.
Since my departure from believing, I have experienced many more hardships that have felt much worse than that solitary time in middle or high school. It felt necessary to not be hurt then, and some of these newer experiences feel wrong to have been a part of. Upon reflection, having my belief in La Virgen really helped me navigate earlier stages in my life.
Top image is the image I grew up learning about, bottom image is the cartoon image that made me reflect in my perception of her.
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